Stop trying so hard!
“Sometimes you have to slow down to go faster.” – Sir Jackie Stewart.
Until recently, I hadn’t come across the Backwards Law. And I’m not sure why.
After all, the foundation for the Law has been around for centuries. It is based on a 2000-year Ancient Chinese text promoting the idea that the more you try to get something, the more it slips away.
The cynic in me thinks that modern society gears us up to be constantly striving and pushing the boundaries. Taking our pedal off the metal isn’t something we should be doing.
But…..
- If we slow down.
- If we take a breath.
- We start to do things better.
Developed by philosopher, Alan Watts, the following are the ten Backwards Laws:
1. Control #
We will feel more powerless the more we try to control our feelings and impulses. Our emotional lives are chaotic and often uncontrollable, and our desire to control them exacerbates the problem. On the other hand, the more we accept our emotions and impulses, the better we’ll be able to control and process them.
2. Freedom #
In many ways, our constant desire for more freedom ironically limits us. Similarly, we can only truly exercise our freedom by limiting ourselves — by choosing and committing to certain things in life.
3. Happiness #
We become less happy when we try to be happy. Accepting dissatisfaction makes us happy.
4. Security #
Trying to make ourselves feel as safe as possible only adds to our sense of insecurity. It is only by being at ease with uncertainty that we can feel safe.
5. Love #
The more we try to make others love and accept us, the less they will, and, more importantly, the less love and acceptance we will have for ourselves.
6. Respect #
The more we expect others to respect us, the less they will respect us. The more we respect others, the more we will be respected by them.
7. Trust #
The more we try to persuade people to believe in us, the less likely they are to do so. The more we put our trust in others, the more they will put their trust in us.
8. Confidence #
We will create more insecurity and anxiety the more we try to feel confident. We will feel more at ease in our skin the more we accept our flaws.
9. Change #
The more desperately we desire to change ourselves, the more we will always feel inadequate. The more we accept ourselves, the more we will grow and evolve because we will be too preoccupied with doing cool stuff to notice.
10. Meaning #
We will become more self-obsessed and shallow as we seek a deeper meaning or purpose for our lives. The more we try to make a difference in other people’s lives, the more profound our impact will be.
Alan Watts: “The more you pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become, as pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack it in the first place.”
Thank you for reading.
